I blame Twitter.

No one felt the need to be concisely witty before Twitter.  Oh sure, we were short and sweet in our Facebook statuses (statusi?) but we tended to simply state our purposes, saying “going to the store, need tomato sauce for mom’s lasagna,” or “seeing a movie tonight, so excited!”  But suddenly, with the birth of Twitter, we all feel the importance of our declarative statements.  They need to be catchy, intelligent, cheeky, thought provoking, and hilarious all at once.

On the one hand, I now have faith that the next generation will be funny.

On the other, I have completely lost the ability to think in sections longer than a Facebook status update.

Let me give you my day, in status update form:

“Woke up ridiculously late.  So the morning becomes the afternoon.  Ah, me.”

“The West Wing soothes me as I eat my breakfast.  Speechifying lends turkey bacon gravitas.”

“Typing.”

“Typing.”

“Holy cow, that’s my word count for the day!  How shall I spend the rest this glorious evening?  What’s that?  The mall is still open, you say?”

“I lost five pounds and the only size I went down is my shoe size. How…?”

“More typing.  Can’t let it go.  But this time I have Conan to keep me company.  Forget team Jacob, I’m firmly team Coco.”

So while I truly enjoy social networking and all of the access they afford us to our friends and fans… I think I should apologize in advance if, in my next book, my chapters are only 140 characters long.

Happy Reading Everyone!